June 12, 2008

Half a Million minutes

Sometime in the next 30 hours or so, I will pass a milestone.  Sometime today or tomorrow will mark 500,000 minutes from the time I said "I do".

I do - promise to have to hold
I do - pledge to forsake all others and keep myself only to her
I do - vow to love, honor, and cherish....

I will - stay through better or worse
I will - remain for richer or poorer
I will - stand by her in sickness and in health...

"til death do us part....

Pretty sweet, huh?  The only problem is, for more than 175,000 of those 1/2 a million minutes, she's been gone.  No phone number.  No forwarding address.  No word.  No contact whatsoever.

And, when she left, she was pregnant.

I left my hometown for her - I left my friends, my apartment, my bed, my car, my church, my life.  I moved halfway across the country - literally hundreds of miles from anyone I ever met - for the woman I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with.  It didn't last 7 months.

We're still married - legally.  But it's hard to say you're married when you haven't seen your "wife" in over 4 months - and you don't even know where she is.

In another couple of weeks - those 500,000 minutes will become a full year.  And in another 2 months - my marriage will be more time separated than together...

I don't know why I'm writing this.  I just had to get it out somehow.  I haven't spoken much about my personal life on this blog.  (With at least one notable exception - one that got me phone calls from my boss, no less.)  I'm hoping that this post goes by a lot more unnoticed.  I just needed to vent.

Thanks.

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2 comments:

zxcel said...

it's bad...be patient,once it will be better.

AzDana said...

I don't want to sound cliched, but I hope this helps a bit. I've heard it before, but copied this just now from wiki:

"King Solomon once searched for a cure against depression. He assembled his wise men together. They meditated for a long time and gave him the following advice: Make yourself a ring and have thereon engraved the words "This too shall pass". The King carried out the advice. He had the ring made and wore it constantly. Every time he felt sad and depressed, he looked at the ring, whereon his mood would change and he would feel cheerful."

My husband chose to divorce me years ago, and that's how I learned first hand, "this too shall pass."