A Cautionary tale about Police and Sand

I was So Lonely that I was Driven to Tears. It felt like there was a Hole in My Life. I couldn't even get the Voices Inside My Head to talk to me. I called myself the King of Pain.
One day I was having a spot of Tea in the Sahara, when I noticed a trail in the sand. So I followed them. It was the kind of hot that it would burn your lungs with Every Breath You Take. I wished for an Invisible Sun, or at least that someone could Bring on the Night. I started to lose it. I thought I saw Spirits in the Material World. I tried to calm myself down by singing. "Do Do Do de da da Da," I sang.
After what seemed like hours of following the trails, and feeling like a Canary in a Coalmine in this place that looked like it was suffering from nuclear Fallout, I saw her, the one whose trail I had been following. She called herself "Roxanne".
"My name is Reggatta de Blanc, and I've been Walking in Your Footsteps, trying to get Next to You," I told her. "From your beauty alone, you have me Wrapped Around Your Finger."
Her only response was "Don't Stand So Close to Me."
"But," I cried, "I Can't Stand Losing You! I feel like I was a Message in a Bottle adrift on the sea of grief before I found you, and now I feel like I'm Walking on the Moon!"
"Listen up, Demolition Man. The Truth Hits Everybody sometimes, and it's about to hit you where it hurts. There's about to be a Murder by Numbers take place if you don't buzz off!"
While I once thought that Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic, I found out that I had to let her go. As I wondered back to the place where I left my tea, I pulled out my CD player and listened to my Police CD, I heard Synchronicity I and Synchronicity II before I got home.
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