April 14, 2007

Things Computers Can Do in Movies

27 Things That Computers Can Do Only in Movies

  1. Word processors never display a cursor.
  2. You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.
  3. Movie characters never make typing mistakes.
  4. All monitors display inch-high letters.
  5. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces.
  6. Those that don’t have graphical interfaces will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.
  7. Note: Command line interfaces will give you access to any information you want by simply typing, “ACCESS THE SECRET FILES” on any near-by keyboard.
  8. You can also infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing “UPLOAD VIRUS”. (See “Fortress”.)
  9. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain’s desktop computer even if it’s turned off.
  10. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn’t go faster than you can read. (Really advanced computers will also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer.)
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