I want my HTPC!

When will I get my all-in-one device? Back in the 80s, there was a chant "I want my MTV". Well, I want my PMP! I want my truly ultra-mobile personal computer (UMPC). I want my DVR, HDTV, MP3, MP4, AVI, WMA, WMV, OGG, FLAC, AIFF, AU, AAC, MOV, RA, RM, RV, MPEG, MP2, MPEG2, MPEG4, XVID, DIVX, VOIP, NES, SNES, NDS, GBA, GB, GBC, WIFI, P2P, PVR, DVD, CD, DVD+/-R/RW/RAM/DL, OS X, XP, LP, HTPC! I want it all in one easy-to-use not-hot running, fits in my pocket without ripping my pants, touchscreen + QWERTY + Bluetooth + USB, slick looking, shiny, clear, high resolution, Doulby surround-sound, sexy case. And I want it now.

Thank you for your attention.